


Dies Irae

by Marguerite



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s05e06 Disaster Relief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-16
Updated: 2009-03-16
Packaged: 2019-05-30 17:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marguerite/pseuds/Marguerite
Summary: Post-ep forDisaster Relief.





	Dies Irae

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Spoilers: Up to and including "Disaster Relief." Spoiler for "Dead Irish Writers,"of all things. And, because this is a Meg fic, there's stuff from the Rosslyn arc. Try to contain your surprise.

 

Thanks to the Algonquin Round Table Redux.

 

DIES IRAE

By Friday they had barely made a dent in the \"What a Shame\" folder.

Donna watched Josh move some papers from one pile to another, his bloodshot eyes barely scanning the sheets. One he dismissed with a groan, another he wadded up and threw at the wastebasket. The shot went wide. Sighing, he opened a blue folder and shook his head as he put it back where he'd found it.

\"This is Legislative Siberia, Donna. We should knock off early,\" Josh said with a fake yawn. \"I'm beat.\" He cocked his head as Donna failed to conceal her shudder. A ghostly imitation of Josh's familiar grin didn't quite reach his eyes, didn't quite mask the pain Donna could see as clearly as if it had been inscribed in the lines on his forehead. \"I said 'beat,' not 'beaten.'\" He glanced away from her, muttering under his breath, \"Not yet.\"

\"I know.\" Her throat was constricted, her eyes stinging. She saw Josh cringe and look away. \"Josh--\"

\"I'm going home,\" he said, rising and stretching as he retrieved his jacket from the back of his chair. His back popped like a little string of firecrackers. \"Yeah. I've been sitting too long. C'mon, we can share a cab.\"

\"I have...\" Her voice drifted off. Truth be told, she had nothing, nothing to do except file the folders that Josh didn't want to use. Nothing to do except watch as the wheels of government rolled all around them. Josh used to be the driver. Now, as he picked up a nearly-empty backpack and shuffled toward the door, he looked more like someone who'd been run over.

Run over. Steamroller, train, hearse. Run over.

She'd spent the weekend strategizing with CJ.

Run over.

She'd spent the next five days in full disaster mode.

Run over.

Those seven nights had been with very little sleep, and what sleep came to her had been fitful. She was beyond damage control now, beyond spin, beyond anything but the need to walk in time with the quickening of her pulse.

The halls were a blur. Margaret's desk didn't register on Donna's optic nerves at all, nor did she hear the sharp protest as she bypassed knocking and strode into Leo's office at full speed, shutting the door behind her.

He didn't even glance up at her. \"What is it, Margaret?\"

\"Well, for starters, I'm not Margaret.\"

Leo leaned back in his chair, nodding to himself. Behind his glasses, his eyes were a dull aluminum gray. Cold. Without life, certainly without compassion. Oh, God, where was Leo in those dead eyes?

\"I don't have a lot of time right now,\" Leo said, turning his attention from Donna and rifling through a folder, \"so if you're here to plead Josh's case--\"

\"I'm not here to plead. I'm here to yell.\"

\"Oh, dear God, Donna,\" Leo moaned, pulling his glasses off and dropping them on top of a stack of papers. \"Don't you think there's been yelling enough around this place? Do you have any idea how many people from the DNC have been yelling in my ear?\"

Trying to subdue the tremors in her voice, Donna spoke slowly and carefully. \"You've had them yelling in your ear before, but you've never caved in like this.\"

The look he gave her was one of a teacher who was dealing with a particularly dull-witted pupil. \"I understand that you're upset. Frankly, I'd be disappointed if you weren't. But this isn't a botched press conference. I can't just slap him on the hand and let it go. What he did was serious.\"

\"What he did was something he ran past you! You're as much a part of Carrick's defection as he is!\"

The ice in Leo's eyes was replaced by flame. He straightened in his chair. \"Excuse me?\"

\"How did they lighten your portfolio? Who's stepping in as your replacement?\"

\"That's enough!\" Leo snapped at her, and she hated herself for flinching. \"Don't you...don't you dare come into my office and pitch a fit because I was doing my job!\"

\"Your job!\" Donna shouted back. \"Remember what you said to Josh? 'As long as I got a job, you got a job,' that's what you told him. My God, he lived on those words for weeks. So what the hell--\"

\"He's got a job! He gets to keep his title, which, by the way, was enough for the DNC to come after me with heavy artillery, and he gets to keep his staff, by which I mean you and your job. Of the pair of you, I'm not sure who's crazier!\" Leo stopped abruptly and straightened his tie. \"Good evening, Mr. President.\"

\"Oh, come on,\" Donna groaned, rolling her eyes. \"You're not going to get me to fall for that.\"

\"That's too bad,\" commented Bartlet from just inside the doorway, \"because I love it when the feisty ones fall for me.\"

Donna wasn't sure which of the two leaden things in her body was her heart and which was her stomach. \"Mr. President,\" she gasped. \"I was...I was...\"

\"There was so much yelling in this office that I thought my wife might be back in town,\" Bartlet said. \"Sit, sit. What's going on?\"

\"Ms. Moss is giving me a piece of her mind,\" Leo said as he waved Donna to a chair and the President to the sofa. He sat beside Bartlet, shoulder to shoulder.

\"I'm surprised it took her this long.\" Bartlet's voice was laced with amusement along with concern. \"What finally brought this on?\"

Donna could see her reflection in Leo's window. Pale, hair flying everywhere, hands over her heart. She looked pathetic. No wonder they weren't taking her seriously. She closed her eyes, remembering Josh sitting at his desk with a look of such utter defeat...

\"This is wrong,\" she murmured. \"Yes, Josh screwed up. Yes, he made the Democratic Party look bad. It's going to be a little harder for a while.\"

\"A little harder?\" Leo sneered. \"Do you have any clue how hard it is to get the party leaders to take us seriously, not to mention Congress?\"

\"About as hard as it was to get them to take you seriously when you were downing your valium with scotch?\"

There was a line somewhere in Leo's office, and Donna was on the wrong side of it.

\"You're out of line,\" Leo said, pointing a warning finger at Donna. \"I don't take crap like that from anyone, and I sure don't take it sitting down.\"

\"Then stand up,\" Donna heard herself saying as if from a great distance, \"or lie down, or play dead, I don't care. You're supposed to be the Chief of Staff, not the Chief Executioner, and it's fine to ask Josh to take one for the team, but you ask, you don't stick a knife in his heart! My God, what he went through with Claypool, the depositions, Sam's call girl, and all the ways he was willing to compromise himself to save you, and you have the nerve to throw stones at him?\"

Leo opened his mouth to say something, but Donna was already leaning toward Bartlet. \"Josh got you here, Mr. President. He got you here when smart money said you didn't have a prayer. He got your bills passed and your agendas taken seriously, and then he got you re-elected after you made the M.S. announcement. After you did something unthinkable that had the party ready to draw and quarter you!\"

\"Not to mention the bullet,\" Bartlet said quietly. His gaze was steady as Donna caught her breath. \"I just thought I'd bring that up preemptively, since I knew you'd deputize it at some point.\"

She nodded, swallowing. She would not cry. CJ had taught her that. \"The thing is, Mr. President, that Josh would take another one. After everything you've done, he'd take a bullet or walk through fire because he worships you. There is nothing in this world that Josh wouldn't do for you. What are you going to do for him, other than show him something worse than the door?\"

\"I should've fired you years ago,\" Leo muttered.

Bartlet shook his head. \"You can't fire someone for telling the truth, Leo. Besides, if you fired her, CJ would get her a job as a pundit somewhere and she'd make more money than the two of us put together. Or Abbey would hire her as Chief of Staff, and you can just imagine the nutty Josh would have if that happened.\" He turned toward her, reaching out to take her hand between his. Donna was aware of a vague aroma of bourbon and cigarette smoke. \"Leo cares very much about what happens to Josh. You know that, right?\"

\"Yes, sir,\" she whispered. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Leo turn toward the middle of the room, his shoulders slumped, one hand covering his eyes. Thinking about what he had said, maybe, or maybe just exhausted.

With a nod toward Leo, Bartlet continued. \"He's doing the best he can with a couple hundred pissed Democrats and a President who's just now getting his act together. Working for me is a hard job, Donna, even harder than working for Josh. Cut him some slack. You want to kick some ass, then come kick mine.\" He patted her hand, released it, and leaned back against the sofa. \"My wife tells me that you have no trouble whatsoever telling truth to power.\"

\"Oh, my God...\" Donna felt the rush of blood to her face.

\"Did you hear about this, Leo?\" Leo shook his head. \"The night of Abbey's birthday party - back when our biggest worry was how long she'd lose her license - Donna here pointed out that Abbey had been a doctor when she gave me beta seron injections and then told me not to tell anyone.\"

For the first time in a week, Donna saw something she recognized in Leo's countenance. \"Sentences like that are the reason I quit drinking,\" he said dryly.

\"Unfortunately, I was sober enough to remember and regret what I said. I imagine I'll feel the same way about tonight.\" She looked from the President to Leo, not sure what she was seeing in their faces. \"I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't even have come in here. I don't know what I was thinking.\"

\"You were thinking about protecting Josh. There's a lot of Delores Landingham in you, Donna.\" Bartlet paused. \"That's a compliment. You can tell Josh I complimented you.\"

She shook her head. \"Josh would kill me if he knew I was here,\" she sighed. \"He's a proud man, Mr. President. He has courage and principles.\"

\"I know that,\" Bartlet said softly. \"And Leo knows it, too. That's why we went to such lengths to keep him with us.\"

\"You've got him on life support.\"

\"But it's because we're waiting for him to recover - not because we're waiting for him to die. There's a big difference between the two.\"

\"I understand, sir,\" Donna whispered. Leo still looked shaken, not quite meeting her gaze when she stood up and straightened her skirt. \"The Secret Service changed his name to 'Phoenix' after...after Rosslyn,\" she said. \"Josh rises from ashes. That's what he does.\"

\"We all do,\" Leo murmured. \"Sometimes it's hard to remember that when you're actually on fire, that's all.\"

Jed broke the silence that followed. \"Speaking of taking bullets, you have to stop doing that. When we're done here--and, believe it or not, there'll be an end to this insanity someday--you're going to do some great things. It's an honor to be considered a good friend, someone who'll fall on a sword. But you're going to be more than that. Right, Leo?\"

\"Absolutely.\" He looked so weary that Donna couldn't remain angry with him. \"Is Josh still here?\"

\"No, he left right before I did this...thing.\" She gestured around the office. \"You know, the 'Someone from the DCoS office implodes in front of the two most powerful men in the country' thing.\"

Bartlet nodded. \"While it's not something I'd like to see on a regular basis, it's understandable. And forgivable,\" he added with a rueful smile.

\"Listen,\" Leo said, getting slowly to his feet and walking toward Donna, \"Josh is gone, and it's late, so I'm gonna have my guy drive you home. Is that okay?\" 

There it was, the grave courtliness of Leo McGarry, and Donna loved him all over again. \"That would be nice,\" she whispered, blinking back the tears once more as her voice nearly broke.

Leo placed his hand on her arm, just for an instant, and in his eyes Donna could see all the anxiety and pain he'd felt on Josh's account in the past week. He'd had to admonish Josh when he'd wanted to commiserate with him, but that was just not how things were done in the White House. \"Go get your things, and I'll page Chuck. He'll be waiting for you at the Ellipse.\"

\"Thank you,\" she managed to choke out. \"Good night.\" With what she hoped was a smile, she backed out of the office, turned abruptly on her heel, and began walking toward the exit.

\"What the hell happened?\" Margaret called after her, but she just shrugged and kept walking until she was at the Ellipse. The sleek gray Town Car was waiting for her and Chuck got out to open her door. He tipped his cap at her.

\"Good evening, Ms. Moss. Where are we going?\"

She considered giving him Josh's address, then decided against it and gave her own instead. She was going home, where she would take a hot bath and drink a glass of merlot and try to forget the past half hour. Maybe the whole week. Just back it up and live it over again, only better this time. And maybe she'd finally get a pony while she was at it.

While they were stopped at an intersection, Donna looked out the window to see Josh walking slowly down the street. He glanced at the car, then did a double-take and looked at her quizzically just as the light changed and Chuck drove ahead.

Donna turned and leaned her damp cheek on her arms, and through the rear window she watched Josh get smaller and smaller under the looming glow of the Capitol Building.

***  
END  
***

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